You, yes you, reading this.
You’re in one of two camps right now. Either (1) you know the Mom Squad from Mom Water and you’re excited for my review, or (2) you have no idea what a Mom Water is and you’re wondering what you’ve gotten yourself into.
Camp #1, welcome. We’ll get to the meat and potatoes soon.
Camp #2, I was just like you a few weeks ago. The much-maligned name “Karen” caught my eye on a box near the checkout at Trader Joe’s, and I had to stop and see what these were.
Mom Water is a fruit-infused vodka water with a twist: there are no bubbles.
According to its website, there’s also no sugar, no carbs, and no artificial flavors or preservatives, and each drink is 90 calories. Co-creator Jill Morrison was never a fan of seltzers or the bloating and headaches that came after a few, so she set out to make a light, non-carbonated alcoholic drink.
The 8-drink variety pack has four flavors:
- Becky: Coconut Mango
- Karen: Lemon Blueberry
- Julie: Passion Fruit
- Linda: Blueberry Peach
I can’t explain it, but the founders did a great job matching names to flavors. They just make sense.
| Flavor | Jared |
|---|---|
| Linda (Blueberry Peach) | 9.4 |
| Karen (Lemon Blueberry) | 8.1 |
| Becky (Coconut Mango) | 8.0 |
| Julie (Passion Fruit) | 7.8 |
Becky (Coconut Mango): 8.0
Fellow writer Tyler was with me while I tried these, so I gave him one and asked for his thoughts. Enjoy.
Jared: I like light flavors, so I’m a fan, but if you like strong and sweet you probably won’t dig it. The coconut comes through; the mango is a hint at most.
Tyler: I was drinking a mom and the first thought that came to my head is why did my friend hand me a piña colada that’s been sitting out in the sun for three hours? The same people who green-lit this drink green-lit a candle that smells like Gwyneth Paltrow’s fanny. I don’t want this again. Please no.
Karen (Lemon Blueberry): 8.1
A tight range here since they’re all so consistent. Light flavor again, but a bit stronger than the coconut and passion fruit. Blueberry leads, with lemon on the finish.
Julie (Passion Fruit): 7.8
The lack of carbonation surprises me every time, and every time it turns out better than expected. The flavor is a little stronger than LaCroix. It could be bolder, but I appreciate the subtle passion fruit, and being so close to still water makes it extremely refreshing.
Linda (Blueberry Peach): 9.4
My girlfriend Rachel is a peach fanatic, so she demanded one of the two Lindas. Her review is below.
Jared: Wow. Blueberry Peach is a tier above the other moms. The blueberry and peach are balanced, and both come through far stronger than the “hint of” flavor in the rest of the pack. Super refreshing, definitely a summer vibe.
Rachel: I love it, definitely the best one of the pack. 10/10.
More of our boozy reviews: Nectar Hard Seltzer and Three Birds.
