The energy drink craze has officially reached the Mount Olympus of social media: Kim Kardashian has entered the ring. For those unaware, Kardashian partnered with Alani Nu on a new flavor for its fast-growing brand. The flavor is… wait for it… Kimade. Not a typo. Her energy drink debut is her first name mashed into lemonade. Every day we prove Darwin wrong with how quickly we’re reversing intellectual evolution.
I could spend a whole article on my gripes with Kardashian culture and why I blame it for society’s moral decay. But here’s the thing: I genuinely can’t find fault with this move. In a lot of ways, it’s genius.
The drink
I had one this morning.
Despite hoping it would be terrible and give me some amazing content, it was absolutely delightful. A soft lemon flavor that reminded me of a fizzier Diet Sprite. I was also pleasantly surprised there was none of the aftertaste you get with most zero-sugar drinks. At 200 mg of caffeine, it holds its own with the Celsius and C4s of the world.
Read that again: a SOFT LEMON flavor. Finishing the can, I realized that’s the flavor profile of the most popular energy drinks right now.
For casual and experienced caffeine drinkers alike, the industry is moving away from flavors that taste like steroid-injected fruit slap-boxing your taste buds, and toward subtler flavors the general public can drink easily. That’s how Celsius has nearly cornered the market this past year.
The branding
So in 2023, what’s the other lifeblood of an energy drink business? Going buck wild on social media and branding. Energy drink brands have insanely active Instagram accounts and rank right up there with clothing brands for collabs with low-grade influencers.
Look at Prime. It tastes like absolute dog water, but with the juggernaut backing of KSI, Logan Paul (ew), and the UFC, it’s stocked and in demand everywhere. (Jared disagrees on the taste; see his PRIME flavors ranked.)
Alani Nu’s genius here is pairing a subtle, crowd-pleasing flavor with arguably the most-followed person on the planet. And because Kimade is limited-time, Alani Nu isn’t shackled to Kim K long term.
Now they get all of the Kardashians’ followers buying Kimade to post on their own socials, and those same buyers are likely to fall for the brand thanks to the easy-drinking flavor. My prediction: Alani Nu’s numbers spike, and it starts to challenge the Celsius monopoly as it keeps leaning into branding.
Final score
Alani Nu Kimade: 8.1/10
Feeling sheep-like? Baah-uy a 12-pack of Kimade on Amazon and support Caffeine Shark. Or try the Alani Nu flavors the Sharks have rated:
