Everyone wants to talk about the best energy drinks, and I get it. You don’t browse an energy drink review site looking for something mediocre. Trying new drinks is usually fun, but some drinks you just want to avoid.

Maybe you’re daring and this list intrigues you for some sick, twisted reason. Either way, here’s the worst of the worst: our five lowest-rated energy drinks.

Note: Rankings and scores are from February 2023. The cards show current Shark Scores. For today’s full bottom of the barrel, see the Treasonous tier.

Rockstar Thermo Neon Blast

5. Rockstar Thermo Neon Blast (1.8/10)

The taste and mouthfeel are unpleasant, and it’s by far the worst-smelling energy drink out there. It tastes like rancid cotton candy. If the smell doesn’t repulse you, the aftertaste will; it lingers far too long. I brushed my teeth and used mouthwash multiple times before I got rid of it.

The smell it leaves on your breath is just as bad. If you’re hyping yourself up for a special date with a 300 mg kick, this ain’t it. You may feel energized, but there won’t be a second date.

Jocko GO Black Cherry Vanilla

4. Jocko GO Black Cherry Vanilla (1.4/10)

I haven’t tried this one yet, but this snippet from its only review intrigued me:

“The worst energy drink I’ve ever had. My dreams of Black Cherry and Vanilla were crushed by a horribly bitter taste. The bitterness had me checking the label for the wrong flavor, expiration dates, and bizarre ingredients. Unfortunately, nothing was off. I didn’t even make it through half of the can.”

Sounds great! I asked Matt, who wrote it, to share more:

“I believe my initial quote should have painted you a picture of how repulsive I found the drink. Just in case you didn’t get the full picture, know that I have not had the drink since. Perhaps I will try it again just to confirm if my perception of a ‘spoiled cherry juice’ flavor is still correct; honestly though, I am not quite ready.” – Matt

Bang Mango Bango

3. Bang Mango Bango (1.4/10)

Bitter and bland, from the first sip. The mango is barely recognizable, and it just leaves bitterness behind. 300 mg of caffeine is a lot, and most brands know they need strong flavors or the right sweeteners to mask caffeine’s natural bitterness. Not Bang. They just put stuff out there and see what happens.

Also, the can is green and white. Have they ever seen a mango? NOS Nitro Mango has an orange can. Ghost Tropical Mango has an orange can. Even Rowdy Peach Mango has more orange. The logo on Monster’s Mango Loco is orange, and Adrenaline Shoc Peach Mango has an orange can. You get the point. Unless there’s a green “bango” nobody told me about, this whole product seems thrown together and shipped without a second thought.

Rockstar XDurance Cotton Candy

2. Rockstar XDurance Cotton Candy (1.1/10)

In my Mango Bango review, I said the only worse energy drink I’d had at that point was Rockstar Cotton Candy. Like Thermo Neon Blast, the can is far better than what’s inside. My blurb:

“Rockstar Cotton Candy tastes like cotton candy shoved in a caffeine-filled vat of carbonated water. It is truly disgusting and not worth your time.”

It really does taste like someone stuffed cotton candy into bitter seltzer. Nothing redeeming: the aftertaste is bad, and the first sip is no better. Maybe I dislike cotton candy drinks more than most, but it’s the combination of flavor, smell, mouthfeel, and aftertaste that makes it so repulsive.

Rambler Sparkling Energy Peach

1. Rambler Sparkling Energy Peach (1.1/10)

What I don’t understand about our worst-rated drink is how it’s still in circulation. It literally tastes like dirt. It isn’t bitter enough to turn you off like XDurance Cotton Candy, and it doesn’t smell like Thermo Neon Blast. It simply tastes like someone poured dirt into a can of sparkling water.

There’s only 75 mg of caffeine in the can, so there shouldn’t be much bitterness to mask. It delivers no kick and doesn’t even work as a midday pick-me-up. Truly no redeeming qualities. Why is it a 1.1 and not a 1.0? Read on.

Personal worst: Bang Birthday Cake Bash

A special shoutout to my personal lowest-rated drink, Bang Birthday Cake Bash. I gave it a 1.0, the lowest possible score, and I’ve actually raised other drinks’ scores just to show how putrid it is by comparison. From my review:

“By the time I was halfway done, I was feeling sick to my stomach. Every time it hit my tongue, I wanted to vomit. I had to pour the rest of it down the drain. This is the single worst energy drink I have ever had.”

The most vile, disgusting, unpalatable, (hold on, opening a thesaurus) revolting, stomach-churning, nauseating, utterly repulsive beverage I’ve ever had. If that intrigues you, here’s our affiliate link.

Seriously, I don’t understand how it isn’t the lowest-rated drink. One Shark agreed with me, but another gave it a 4.6. Absurd. Matt even asked around for second opinions.

Worst brand: Rip It

A special shoutout to my least favorite brand: Rip It (unless we get a sponsorship, of course). Any chance I get to bash Rip It makes me happy. I needlessly mention it in my reviews of Reign Mang-O-Matic, Rowdy Strawberry Lemonade, Wired X344, and many more. From my Celsius Sparkling Cola review:

“It is still better than some of the lesser energy drink brands such as Rip It…”

Some Rip It flavors are better than others, but the base blend makes every one taste overly artificial. I can get on board with a good artificial drink sometimes, but this tastes like it shouldn’t be entering your body. (Technically that may be true of most energy drinks… but I digress.)

Our worst-rated Rip It is Tribute C.Y.P.-X (even the name is stupid), and I haven’t even added my low score yet. It’s not just me; none of us caffeine connoisseurs can stand Rip It.

There you have it: our worst-rated energy drinks, plus a couple I couldn’t leave out. If you’re daring, and maybe hate yourself a little like the rest of us, give some a try and leave a review. If nothing else, your taste buds will never forget the experience. Need to recover? Start with the best energy drinks.